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It’s A Disease

We all have issues, all have problems in our lives. We try our hardest to get over things, to get past the difficulties, to become stronger. But are we truly strong? When we fall what does it mean? No matter what we go through it is all some kind of disease from drugs, abuse, depression, etc. All of these are some kind of disease that each day have to overcome. Some days we are doing great and the next we are falling apart. How do we get past all of the demons, all the whispering, all the labels people put on us?

No matter where we are in life, no matter what we are doing we are fighting demons. Everyone goes through some kind of obstacle and each day we have to make that decision to not allow it to get the best of us. A lot of times we fall and don’t know how to pick up the pieces.

I have been fighting with something for a very long time, I don’t like talking about it and for a while I was okay and got over it. We somehow begin to fall though and forget how we got up the first time. For me, that’s were I am in my life. Each day is a struggle of the demons bringing me down, voices in my head telling me to just give up, but I am not allowing it to get the last word. I hate talking about my feelings and hate telling people about my problems that’s why when I see people I have the biggest smile on my face. It’s kind of weird for me when I am around people it’s like I numb my feelings and don’t have to think about things and instead be myself.

When we are alone that’s when we lose ourselves! If you are struggling with anything tell someone, getting help doesn’t make you small, it shows you want to control your own life. Never judge someone with what they are going through because it could be very hard for them even if it looks so easy for you. Remember everyone is different and instead of judging show support.


Ever Had…

Ever had a moment where you thought how your life would be different if this happened instead what actually happened? What your life would be if you decided that path instead of the one you on?

We all have had moments in our life where we think if we just changed this or if I decided this instead my life would be different. When I was younger(12-16 years old) I always thought this. I somehow convinced myself that I always picked the wrong choice and that I chose it I get punished and things will always go wrong. I’m not sure exactly why I thought that, but I don’t regret it as it has made me who I am today.

I was watching Grey’s Anatomy a month ago and I watched an episode that was named what if. The episode was basically about if something else happened in there lives what would happen. Short story in the end each character still ended up where they already are.

No matter what path we take, no matter what decision we make, we will always end up exactly were we are suppose to be. Even if we take the wrong turn, we are just taking a detour. It may take longer then expected, but we will make it. It doesn’t matter what I’ve been through and doesn’t matter what I do now because at the end of the day I am suppose to be exactly where I am in my life. Don’t ever question why something happens to you, there is a reason you may not see it now but you will soon enough! Don’t worry, stress less, have lots of fun, enjoy life, make as much time with loved ones, and tell them how much they mean to you!

I Will Never Understand

When your in high school you see all these people who will go so far in life. They have all this potential and you just know they will make it far. Then three years later it’s the total opposite of where you thought they would be and not in a good way.

When I was in high school everyone was friends with everyone. The smart kids were the cheerleaders or football players. Our class was not what most high schools are portrayed as. A lot of my friends were in cheer, dancing, or ap classes. Most of them I knew were going to be big in whatever they were going in within the next few years.

After high school I lost contact with basically everyone, but still had them as a friend on Facebook. It’s been over 4 years since I have graduated (wow can’t believe it’s been that long already) and most of the people I talked to either have kids and don’t go to school or work at a fast food place. It’s crazy how 4 years can change someone’s life.

The crazy thing is these people had so much potential and now have thrown it away. Don’t get me wrong some are great parents and kudos to you for having kids at a young age, but I don’t understand it. The reason I don’t is because I know I can’t take care of myself financially and thinking of having a kid in the mix is just even worse. The saddest thing is some have 2-3 kids and most all have different baby daddies.

Our generation and the next generations are getting worse and worse. If your not ready to have a kid and can not support yourself don’t have kids. Do you and succeed in life then bring in a child and make sure you won’t struggle. Remember whatever you go through it’s worse for a child to go through.


We all have people in our lives that are negative. They are either angry about the world, their own lives, or they will do anything to bring you down to their misery. No matter what in life we will always have people like this. They are everywhere and sometimes we don’t notice it until it’s too late to do anything about it. How do we get past this? How do we avoid the negativity in this world? It is simple, but harder than it sounds. You need the mindset, physically and mentally you need to be on the right path.

Anyone and everyone will do anything they can to bring you down as they are down. That they are unhappy, they have to make sure everyone else around them are just as miserable as they are. More than half the time we don’t even notice when a person is being negative until a few weeks or even months later, then you begin to notice you are doing the same thing. When you hang out with someone for a long period of time you begin to act like them and think the way they think. We never notice it until someone different comes in our lives and you notice how you think is differently from the person you have been around for a period of time.

One of the hardest things is seeing someone you care about start to become a horrible person. A family member you have been close with for years and grew closer then someone comes back into their lives and within months you notice this person you care about is not the same person anymore. What do you do? You can’t stand being around them because the way they speak to you and everyone else is rude and obnoxious. You don’t want to cut them off, but that is the only option. One of the hardest things in life is when someone so close to you starts to become a stranger as you grow apart. Sometimes you can’t really do anything about it and just let it be, hoping someday you will become close again.

No matter what in life someone will be negative towards you, your career, what you are doing, what you want to. These people will not stop and all you have to do is brush it off and not allow them to get the best of you. It may suck especially if you are close with this/ person/people, but you need to think of yourself and make sure you are happy where you are going and happy with your life. Never allow someone define you! Never allow someone stop you from being the best you can ever be! Follow your dreams no matter what anyone says to you.

How To Stay Strong…

How do you stay strong on something you believe and everyone around you throws it in your face? What do you do when someone tells you your not good enough or your an idiot for doing that or that what your doing is effecting their own life and your ruining them? What are you suppose to do? Run and hide, stop what your doing, do what makes everyone happy, stop believing and give up?!

Everyone around you will put you down no matter what. When you change something in your life and someone doesn’t agree with you will do everything in their power to put you down. Sometimes it’s a family member, a friend, your loved one. You need to remember life is too short and you can’t always make everyone happy. The only thing you can do is make yourself happy and make sure you are always.

People are vicious and cruel they will do anything to get you down to satisfy themselves. Those people are the worst and even though you love them and care for them there opinions are there opinions. Never allow someone to question what you believe in, what you stand up for because they don’t. When you change something in your life and have no support system for your loved ones, you need to find it from somewhere else.

If you don’t you will go back to the way you were and be miserable again. Don’t ever stoop to anyone level. Be yourself and never give up on your dreams. There will be times were it will be a challenge and times it will be easy. Don’t let the challenges get the best of you! Step back and remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. You have your own back remember that!

Never Right!

Ever feel like being degraded or put down everyday by the same people? Any time you want to do something your either wrong or your just an idiot and don’t know anything? Things change peoples lives and they take drastic measures because when something horrible happens to you or someone you love, you change your ways and better yourself no matter what. Well that’s how I feel and how I always look at things, but I get so much hate from everyone.

These past few months I’ve been eating fast food at least once a day. I’m skinny and have a high metabolism, I always thought nothing would happen to me. I was wrong. I have gotten sick at least 2-3 times a week, sometimes even 4. Each time I was pushing it off and not thinking about it. This weekend it finally caught up to me. I was at work, everything was fine until one second I felt nauseous then fainted and couldn’t move. I was in so much pain, I thought I had gas in my stomach and I will be fine after a few hours. It’s been a whole 24 hours and I’m still not feeling well, but better then yesterday.

Last night, I made a decision that I don’t want this lifestyle anymore. I don’t want to be sick everyday over food. I love food and love junk food, but I need to change it. I know it will take time for me to fully change my eating style. The first thing I’m going to start is quit fast food cold turkey and no more chicken. It’s going to be very difficult for me especially quitting chicken as I love chicken, but I know I have to.

My entire eating schedule is different and not having support will only lead me to going back to how I was. It’s very hard when people you love roll your eyes and yell at you if you don’t eat anything and tell you how dumb you are. They don’t understand why and sometimes you don’t have to explain and just do it for yourself. I know they are just scared of change and stubborn, but I have to do this.

No matter what someone says to you, remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. I’m hoping one day I will have their support, but for now I have only myself and you! I will always have all of your support, if you need support you let me know and I will have it.

Lots To Do!

Lots on my mind and lots of things going on the past few days. I haven’t been feeling well, and been sleeping every day when I got home. Today was the worst I have felt. I’m not to sure what is wrong, but my intestines and stomach have been killing me. I’m trying to figure out what is wrong and get better. I will still try to do post when I’m feeling a little better.

I have been thinking of what to else I will do. I will have a top 5-10 list of shows that have been great this year. I will have this up in a few weeks keep an eye out on it.

I have been thinking about writing on things that have changed my life and would like to share with all of you. I will soon write the first one. I have a paper I wrote for one of my classes that to me has one of my favorite papers to write and I will post it.